Thursday, October 16, 2008

Your Etiquette Advice from Some Old Books I Found


Today's etiquette advice comes from The Life Cycle Library for Young People 1969 (Parent and Child Institute, Chicago).

If you know me--and I hope, for your sake, you don't--then you know I am a spectacular social butterfly. Sort of like a conversationalist Mothra--he was a giant butterfly, right? But if you need help when you're at that next networking mixer, here's a quick tip:

Jokes made at someone else's expense, crude or off-color jokes, and very personal questions seldom make good conversation. Pointing out that Wally's teeth make him look like a gopher, even if they do, may get a big laugh, but the laugh is not worth the price of losing Wally as a friend. Laughter at someone else's expense is a sure way of losing friends.

Yeah, Wally really does look like a gopher. And now apropos of nothing--I'm only using that phrase because Heather hates it--this is also the book that clears up this concern:

A homosexual is a person who is sexually attracted to persons of the same sex rather than to persons of the opposite sex. One of the problems that masturbation can cause is that a young person may wonder if something is wrong with him or her. Some young people think masturbation is linked to homosexuality. They believe that if they masturbate, they are a homosexual or will become homosexual. They should realize that masturbation does not cause homosexuality.

So what have we learned? Don't call Wally a gopher and pointing out that masturbation does not in fact cause homosexuality--as everyone surely must have assumed--is probably a great conversation starter. This has been your etiquette advice from some old books I found.

5 comments:

Pete said...

It won't make you homosexual, but it will make you go blind. We all know that. It's a wonder that I can still see as well as I can.

S. Craig Renfroe, Jr. said...

Pete,

Don't think I didn't ask my optometrist about it...

Anonymous said...

What about the kittens that die? Or do men not care about the kittens? Maybe that's why some women masturbate more sparingly...

S. Craig Renfroe, Jr. said...

Oh, Anonymous,

I often think of kittens... while... well, never mind.

Those poor kittens, those poor smote kittens. Those kittens, those kittens are dead.

Anonymous said...

One would hope your thoughts would be occuied with pussies...er...cats, that is, rather than kittens.