Tuesday, February 25, 2014

AWP Ready (Seattle Edition)

 



I am ready for my AWP experience in Seattle. I have everything I need:

√A leather bound notebook so that I can write while other people are just talking about writing. And be seen writing which is even better.

√A laptop to sit in the free Wi-Fi lobby and blog about the conference. The lobby's good because people will see me writing.

√A smart phone so that I can multitask during small talk. I might even be writing.

√A pair of Google Glass so that I can judge the writers in the room in real time.
 
√An odd hairstyle so people will look at me.

√An odd shirt or T-shirt with an odd phrase like "Pushcartoplyses" so that when people are staring straight ahead they'll look at me.

√An odd pair of shoes so that when people are looking down and don’t see my hair or shirt they will notice my shoes and look at me.

√Pre-prepared questions/comments (mostly comments, long, long comments, a speech really) that are so good they will prove that I am smarter than the people on the panel and that I should have been up there in the first place.

√A limber neck so that I can scan the Bookfair as I talk to someone in case there is someone more important I should be talking to.

√Nonalcoholic whiskey to use for shots with other writers who are using actual whiskey so that I can drink them under the table and thus prove I am a better writer.

√My card that includes an ad for my AWP erotic thriller just up on Amazon.

√A rain jacket.

Bring on all the writers and writing programs that are associated.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Me in Thumbnail Magazine



So my piece "14 Ways to Save According to Somebody on the Internet" is ironically not on the Internet but in the latest print issue of Thumbnail Magazine, which you should buy here. Buy it for all these fine reasons:

In Thumbnail Magazine's fifth annual collection of quality flash fiction, Ben Tanzer and the team from This Blog Will Change Your Life take charge. New stories are complemented by street art collected by Adam Lawrence and musical selections by Jason Behrends, with stories by Lauryn Allison, David S. Atkinson, Lauren Becker, Ryan W. Bradley, Spencer Dew, Jason Fisk, Jessi Lee Gaylord, James Grinwis, Rachel Hyman, Kyle Hemmings, Joseph G. Peterson, S. Craig Renfroe, Megan Stielstra, David Tomaloff, and Cyn Vargas. This collection also includes Morgana McLeod’s “Cotton Candy Miracles,” 2013 winner of Thumbnail’s No-Fee Flash Fiction Competition, judged by Sean Lovelace.