Monday, March 4, 2013
I am ready for my AWP experience in Boston. I have everything I need:
√A leather bound notebook so that I can write while other people are just talking about writing. And be seen writing which is even better.
√A laptop to sit in the free Wi-Fi lobby and blog about the conference. The lobby's good because people will see me writing.
√A smart phone so that I can multitask during small talk. I might even be writing.
√An odd hat so people will look at me.
√An odd shirt or T-shirt with an odd phrase like "Pushcartoplyses" so that when people are staring straight ahead they'll look at me.
√An odd pair of shoes so that when people are looking down and don’t see my hat or shirt they will notice my shoes and look at me.
√Pre-prepared questions/comments (mostly comments, long, long comments, a speech really) that are so good they will prove that I am smarter than the people on the panel and that I should have been up there in the first place.
√A limber neck so that I can scan the Bookfair as I talk to someone in case there is someone more important I should be talking to.
√Nonalcoholic whiskey to use for shots with other writers who are using actual whiskey so that I can drink them under the table and thus prove I am a better writer.
√My wife--step one in entourage creation.
√Some red socks--I hear that's big up there.
Bring on the associated writers and writing programs.