Live from Crete: Kevin Keck?

You thought this post was going to be about me bragging about what a great time I'm having in Greece, but actually it's a post about me bragging about the review I wrote about Kevin Keck's Are You There God? It’s Me. Kevin. that has just been published in The Pedestal. Ha! That will teach you to try and anticipate what form my narcissism will take.

Greece or Bust

That's an old map of Crete and that's where I'm headed. Three plane rides and several time changes later, I'll arrive in Heraklion.

Below is an illustration of executions preformed by hoisting the victims up in the air and then dropping them on a hook, where they would hang impaled until dead. They don't practice that anymore...I'm fairly certain...


Wish me happy trails...

Goodbye NatPoMo

Crossing the Bar

by Lord Alfred Tennyson

Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,

But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.

Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark;

For though from out our bourne of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crossed the bar.

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's May! National Poetry Month is over, and we can return to not caring about poetry. I can hear a nation-wide sigh of relief. Poets in particular can return to their regular lives as longshoremen and astrophysicists, remember their roles as mothers and sons. Speaking of mothers, I hear we will be required to care about them one day this month. That, I suppose, is only fair. Though if your mother is a poet, you may have already done your time.

I Can See You

So I got my eyes checked today. The optometrist asked, "What prompted you to come in?" To which I could only say that it had been four years since I'd had an eye exam and I was thinking about getting new glasses. He seemed satisfied, but I wondered why ask that way. What was he driving at?

The next in my errands today was a stop at Great Clips for a hair trim--I never say haircut anymore because people assume a guy with long hair will one day come to his senses and get a crew cut, to which I say, "I'm just waiting for the balding." In the waiting room at Great Clips was a copy of Garden and Gun. I realized one of the contributing editors is one of my mentors, Clyde Edgerton. But what was it doing in Great Clips? Was it only a matter of alliteration?

Coincidences? I think not. By the way, my sight is just fine, by which I mean I can't see a damn thing without my glasses. That's right, I see what's going on here.

This Just In: Grades

That's right, the grades...they are in. And I am free. Free, I say.

This Just In Postscript: Heather has just informed me that this post, "sucks." More news as it develops.

Printers Hate Menstrual Blood and There Will Be Literary Thrillers

I am sad. Which I will probably blog about when I'm not quite so sad.

In the mean time, Ben Tanzer's blog has made me angry. He reproduces a letter from Eric Spitznagel about the Monkeybicycle Dirty Comedy issue. Turns out its release has been delayed because all the printers they tried were offended by the content. Specifically offended by a cartoon that contained menstrual blood (because no one is offended by reading anymore because no one reads). Is this those wacky free-speech-hating foreigners upset at cartoon representations of Muhammad? No, it's god-fearing printers of America, practicing censorship. To quote Spitznagel: "I think we've learned something today, my friends. We've learned that the printing industry is afraid of menstruation." God bless America.

What has made me happy is reading Derek Nikitas's discussion of literary thrillers on Murderati, which tackles the literary vs. genre debate. What has also made me happy is David Jack Bell's hypothetical writers draft.

Me on This Zine Will Change Your Life

I know, I know this is getting out of hand. I apology for the rash of self-promotion: Monkeybicycle, The Potomac, and now This Zine Will Change Your Life. I'm even getting tired of myself.

So don't go to This Zine Will Change Your Life for my story "An Introduction to My Open Mike Poetry Set." But rather go there because it has been paired with a picture and a song (can you say paired if there's a total of three things?). The picture is a brilliantly punkish photo by Adam Lawrence. The song is "Hello Fuji Boy" by Oh Astro. It contains samples from Hot Chip. Lionel Richie, and Fujiya & Miyagi. That's right. You have to see it and hear it for yourself, so click, don't type your way to This Zine Will Change Your Life. I mean, really, your life--I wasn't going to say anything but since this came up--could use a change.