Me on McSweeney's Internet Tendency III

My piece "Netflix Would Like to Apologize for the Inadvertent Apocalypse" is up at McSweeney's Internet Tendency. Like last time, it's an apology. Only this time it's a sorry corporation.

I had been complaining last week relentlessly about Netflix's bastard child Qwikster. Then someone, who I don't remember because I wasn't really listening to them but instead trying to get them to listen to me, said that it wasn't the end of the world. Well, ha!

Me on decomP magazinE II

You'll remember that I was on decomP, a literary magazine, once before. That was about a scientist who got mad.

This time my story "Femme Fatale, Rabid Raccoon" is in the decomP March issue. It's not about an actual raccoon, but there might be a femme fatale in there. It also includes audio of me reading the story, so you can finally hear my voice, the way you've always wanted. Play it for your kids to lull them to sleep. There's lots of other cool stuff in the issue, so poke around.

By the way, decomP is doing a Kickstarter campaign to put out its first print edition, so give.

Me in DOGZPLOT FLASH FICTION 2011 ANTHOLOGY

So my story "Pre-Revelation Coffee with Ex-Girlfriend" is in the Dogzplot Flash Fiction 2011 Anthology with these cool people:

BILL BARR
LAUREN BECKER
ERIC BENNETT
ALEC BRYAN
ELIZABETH ELLEN
ASHLEY FARMER
SASHA FLETCHER
JON-MICHAEL FRANK
REBECCA GAFFRON
ROXANE GAY
MADDIE GORMAN
BARRY GRAHAM
PAUL GRINER
SHELLY HOLDER
JAMIE IREDELL
DREW KALBACH
STEFAN KIESBYE
JEREMY KELLY
CHRISTOPHER KENNEDY
MAXINE LOPEZ-KEOUGH
ANDREA KNEELAND
LEN KUNTZ
DARBY LARSON
MK LAUGHLIN
BRIAN LE LAY
ROBERT LOPEZ
ROBERT JOHN MILLER
KYLE MINOR
DAVID PEAK
SHANNON PEIL
SAM RASNAKE
MICHELLE REALE
DANIEL ROMO
LINDA SANDS
KELLY SCHIRMANN
MARNIE SHURE
ANI SMITH
E. SODERBACK
BEN SPIVEY
PARKER TETTLETON
XTX

Very cool. Cover image by Sam Pink.

Necessary Fiction's First Footing

So Necessary Fiction is doing a month of fictional "first footings" where they've "invited our past contributors to let the last line of someone else’s story get a foot in the door of their own fiction."

My contribution is called "The Banshee" and took its footing from Kevin Spaide's story "The Beard." You should definitly read his even if you don't read mine. By the way, his is about a beard and mine is about a banshee.

Me in Jelly Bucket

So my short story "No One Drowns Here Anymore" is in the 2010 issue of Jelly Bucket, a cool literary journal put out by the MFA program at Eastern Kentucky University. I'd especially like to thank Russell Helms. You can get copy of Jelly Bucket here.

Me in moonShine review

So my short story “An Introduction to Conflict as Understood by the Philosopher Diogenes” is in the latest issue of moonShine review #12 (Volume 6:Issue 2, that is). It’s more about a father and son than Diogenes. Though it is also about Diogenes, who is one of my favorite philosophers…of all time. He lived in a tub and masturbated in public, like an obscene Oscar the Grouch. The best.

Here’s some other info about the issue: moonShine review #12 released early Dec 2010, just in time for your holiday gift shopping! Only $8 ~ a lot of bang for the buck ~ this issue features fine prose by these talented writers other than me: Billie Bierer, Susan M. Boyer, Jessie Carty, Peg Daniels, Kate V.M. Ferguson, Gary V. Powell, Tom Quinn, Susan Snowden, Bob Strother, and Charlotte Wolf... and gorgeous featured photography by Clarke Armstrong.

Me on McSweeney's Internet Tendency II

My piece "A Disgraced Congressman Apologizes for His Recent Poor Choices of Costumes" is up at McSweeney's Internet Tendency, as part of their Short Imagined Monologues Series. It's about a Congressman who has bad taste in costumes. It's perfect for the holiday weekend--you can print it out to give trick-or-treaters. They'll love it. Except for the bit about the human centipede. And the phallus.

You should, on second thought, just buy some Reese's. Or like me buy some Reese's for yourself and a fifty pound bag of Tootsie Rolls for the little monsters--they need to earn their own Reese's. That's the problem with this country everybody wants a handout. Buy your own chocolate peanut butter cup.

Last time.

Me at A Tribute to Novello

So for nineteen years the Public Library of Charlotte & Mecklenburg County put on the incomparable Novello Festival of Reading. This year it went down with all the budget cuts, but thanks to the tireless work of Mark West (here's a great article about that work) there will be a tribute to Novello, with the hope that it will support the library system and that there will be a return to Novello in the future.

On October 2nd, I'll be taking part in the Short Story Writers Panel with Robert Boisvert and Aimee Parkison. There will be other great events that day at the Main Library, 310 North Tryon Street, Charlotte. Here's the press release.

Me in the Journal of Microliterature

So my flash fiction "The Substitute" is now up over at the Journal of Microliterature. This piece has some of my favorite stuff, like Poor Richard's Almanack and the god Set.

Let me also recommend John P. McCann's "Death Honk" there. Read it just to have context for the line, "'Pie that damn bear!'"

a la carte!

That's right; it's here: A La Carte: Short Stories that Stir the Foodie in All of Us, a 2010 MSR Short Fiction Anthology edited by me. It contains amazing stories from the likes of:

Ted Chiles
David Erlewine
Hugh Fox
Molly Gaudry
Kathie Giorgio
Russell Helms
Ann Hillesland
Carol K. Howell
Jac Jemc
Jason Jordan
Michael Kardos
Letitia L. Moffitt
Joseph R. Quinlan
Mary McLaughlin
Nicole Louise Reid
Ben Tanzer
Eric Vrooman

Please enjoy their fabulous food tales. Buy it here.

Me on MicroHorror

So my flash fiction "I Love Medusa!" is up on MicroHorror. Because Heather thought "Giant Panda Monster" was about her, I accidentally didn't share this one with her, but she ended up reading it on MicroHorror. And it turns out it's about her too, which I deny. Sure she claims she won a costume contest by dressing up as Medusa, and sure she claims she told me about this, and sure she claims she showed me pictures. But I don't remember that. And I certainly can't be held responsible for what my subconscious does.

Me on Hobart

My story "Giant Panda Monster" is in the August Issue of the online Hobart. It's a story straight out of my fascination with giant pandas, big monster movies, and love. And according to my wife, it's an allegory for my marriage. Many thanks to Andrea Kneeland for including it in such an excellent issue.

Here are my favorite lines from fellow contributors:

Lauren Becker, "Do You Know Jesus Christ?": "Jed and Lark started to make out by the refrigerator and I talked to a cute guy and watched the lonely hot dogs move slowly around the cooker."

Rachel Lyon, "The Whale and the Waterslide": "'Whales don’t like the same things people do, Dale.'"

Matt Mullins, "Arion Resigns": "typing my own ransom memo for the corporate pirates who pay me in somnambulistic days."

Kristine Ong Muslim, "We Figure the Leaves": "In time, the leaves learn to take our postures, to talk, to make themselves look beautiful in the eyes of other leaves."

Justin Taylor, interviewed by Matthew Simmons: "And what about Michelle Trachtenberg?"

Check it out.

Me in Thumb Smudge Java

I brag a lot--mainly because I'm a braggart. But in this instance, though I am bragging, it is for others.

Two of my students (former?) Joel Ferdon and Josiah McGinnis have started their own literary magazine called Thumb Smudge Java. My piece "Coming This Fall: Stuff Posted on Facebook!" is in the premiere issue with some other great (probably better) stuff, stuff that has not been posted on Facebook and in fact has to be read in print (unless they put it on their Web site, in which case check it out there).

So please support them by submitting your work (they're reading for Issue 2 now) and by getting the first issue (give them your money).

Me on Dogzplot 2

You remember last time I had a flash fiction piece on Dogzplot. Ants...Sermon on the Mount...well, you get it. Anyway, this time I have another "religious" (that's right I used quotation marks) piece called "Pre-Revelation Coffee with Ex-Girlfriend."

P.S. Dear ex-girlfriend(s), this is not about you.

Me in Knee-Jerk

So my story "We Sin Like Wolves" is in lucky Issue 13 of Knee-Jerk magazine. It was a great experience working with Jonathan Fullmer, who made me see the story in a whole new way. So you should probably see it now.

This issue also includes a cool interview with Print Ball organizers Fred Sasaki (associate editor at Poetry), Nell Taylor (founder and executive director of the Chicago Underground Library), and Sarah Dodson (director and managing editor of MAKE: A Literary Magazine). Plus there's exceptional work from Alba Machado, Amanda Marbais, and Robert Repino.

Me on Wigleaf's Long Shortlist

So stuff apparently happens when you're gone. For example, The Wigleaf Top 50 came out, a list of great online [very] short fictions, this year judged by the amazing Brian Evenson. The list had the likes of Matt Bell, Aaron Burch, Dan Chaon, Dennis Cooper, William Gibson, Barry Graham, Brad Green, Stephen Graham Jones, and Kevin Wilson.

I'm just happy that my story "Death Babies" published in Flash Fiction Online made it to the Long Shortlist.

Me in NANO Fiction

So my nano, as in tiny, fiction called "Call Back" is in the latest issue of NANO Fiction (that would be Volume 3 Number 2 to be specific). The issue includes work by luminaries like Jac Jemc and Kyle Hemmings.

And lots of others like Nicholas T. Brown, Ryan Call, Brian Allen Carr, Gabe Durham, Avital Gad-Cykman, Frank Giampietro, Jenny Gillespie, Jennifer Gravley, Kate Hagerman, Ann Hillesland, Janet Jennings, Suzanne Lamb, Brandon Lamson, Cynthia Litz, Joël Martinez, Stephanie Martz, Scott McWaters, Katherine Megear, Amanda Montei, M.V. Montgomery, Adam Moorad, Thomas Mundt, Fred Muratori, Thisbe Nissen, Sophie Rosenblum, Tom Whalen, Timothy Willis Sanders, Stephanie Valente, and L.A. Zimmerman. All very nice, except for Tom Whalen. Kidding. Just figure no one reads these lists.

Me on JMWW

So my flash fiction "Kill Tig!" is in the Spring 2010 Special Flash Issue of JMWW edited by the incomparable and ubiquitous David Erlewine. My flash is about two brothers. I have brothers. Don't read anything into it. Unless you want to, which would mean you would have to read it, which I would not be opposed to. The issue is full of luminaries like Rusty Barnes, Matt Bell, Michael Czyzniejewski, Erin Fitzgerald, Meg Pokrass, Kevin Wilson and more. I especially enjoyed Robert Swartwood's hint fiction "10 Items or Less."

Me on Thuglit, again

That's right, I'm back with the thugs (I say that with all respect) at Thuglit in Issue 35. Remember the last time I had a story in Thuglit about Russian roulette? Well this time it's a sweet tale called "Come to Roost" about a couple settling down with banana hallucinogen, a missing bulldog named Roost, and a sociopath thrown in.

Me on 365 Tomorrows

It's the new year! Happy New Year, blog! And some, that is none, of you will remember last year when I vowed to blog more. That turned out swimmingly, so this year I am vowing to blog less just to take the pressure off last year.

This post is not only the first of the new year, but one in which I brag about my writing going up somewhere in the vastness of the Internet. Today, my flash fiction piece "Relative Weather" is featured at the amazing 365 Tomorrows. See that's fitting what with us being in the future of 2010, where we'll all get giant blue bodies or if we're bad guys machine exo-skeletons.

Anyway, "Relative Weather" is about relatives who are trapped by weather--get it? Also, an attempt to control said weather that, as expected, goes awry. When will people learn? Probably 2010!