My piece "A Disgraced Congressman Apologizes for His Recent Poor Choices of Costumes" is up at McSweeney's Internet Tendency, as part of their Short Imagined Monologues Series. It's about a Congressman who has bad taste in costumes. It's perfect for the holiday weekend--you can print it out to give trick-or-treaters. They'll love it. Except for the bit about the human centipede. And the phallus.
You should, on second thought, just buy some Reese's. Or like me buy some Reese's for yourself and a fifty pound bag of Tootsie Rolls for the little monsters--they need to earn their own Reese's. That's the problem with this country everybody wants a handout. Buy your own chocolate peanut butter cup.