Me on McSweeney's Internet Tendency III

My piece "Netflix Would Like to Apologize for the Inadvertent Apocalypse" is up at McSweeney's Internet Tendency. Like last time, it's an apology. Only this time it's a sorry corporation.

I had been complaining last week relentlessly about Netflix's bastard child Qwikster. Then someone, who I don't remember because I wasn't really listening to them but instead trying to get them to listen to me, said that it wasn't the end of the world. Well, ha!

Me on McSweeney's Internet Tendency II

My piece "A Disgraced Congressman Apologizes for His Recent Poor Choices of Costumes" is up at McSweeney's Internet Tendency, as part of their Short Imagined Monologues Series. It's about a Congressman who has bad taste in costumes. It's perfect for the holiday weekend--you can print it out to give trick-or-treaters. They'll love it. Except for the bit about the human centipede. And the phallus.

You should, on second thought, just buy some Reese's. Or like me buy some Reese's for yourself and a fifty pound bag of Tootsie Rolls for the little monsters--they need to earn their own Reese's. That's the problem with this country everybody wants a handout. Buy your own chocolate peanut butter cup.

Last time.

Art of the Book

Lately, I've been thinking about the book as a work of art.

1. I got my copy of Michael Chabon's Maps and Legends published by McSweeney's. And Heather can't get over how good the book looks. She's even told other couples at dinner engagements, like she's bragging on her child, which I, of course, find cute. And McSweeney's always has killer books, things so crafted I sometimes fear I'm ruining them in the reading. But hell, a good book should be worn in some way--the way all the best people have a kind of haggardness about them.
   
2. Melody sent me a link to BOOK, a website about a group of artists that trade a sketchbook back and forth (pictured). Not to mention that Melody introduced me to the author I think of when I think of the book as artwork: Alasdair Gray, who designs and illustrates his own books.
   
3. I have this yearning to commit art. The phrasing is intentional as it would feel and probably look like I committed murder.
   

Me on McSweeney’s

My short story “The Focus Group’s Transcript for My Prospective Garage Sale” is now on McSweeney’s Internet Tendency. Actually it was on yesterday, but yesterday was St. Patrick’s Day and apparently after spending some time in the local Irish pub RiRa’s my response was to slander the “holiday” instead of checking it out.