I Have Been Carred

I hated cars well before it was cool. Not for any earth-saving reasons, I mean the supernova-ing sun's going to take care of this place soon enough, right? But just the general resentment--all I wanted was a way from point A to B and I get saddled with a constant source of nuisance. And I'm not a fan of speed. I'm a fan of slow. Of porches. And god knows I'd never buy a new car--a racket if ever there was one, paying for the car-salesman aggravation and instant depreciation.

So naturally, the other day I bought a new car. I blame Heather, who so loves cars she has a pet name for hers which I won't reveal because out of context it sounds dirty...I should probably just not bring it up. Also, I blame the last junk heap that hauled my ungrateful self around which died before it could claim any of that cash for being a clunker.

Anyway, we got an '09 Elantra Touring. Here's my review: it's nice.

WARNING: Grey Goo

Have you ever wondered will the world end in fire or ice? Had you wondered this you wasted your time because the world will, in fact, be ending in grey goo. How do I know? Because of the wonders of the Internet (A quick aside: I used to get worked up over having to capitalize the Internet, but now I realize it is a proper name for that space where all the weird, terrible, wonderful urges of the world get refined into points of light, and so just as you capitalize Kalamazoo so should you capitalize the Internet). Anyway, so I was going to my goto site Google, though I have documented our rocky relationship, and though I have a Google bar right there in the top right hand corner of my browser, I still type in the site, but this time, instead of clicking down to the auto-fill Google, I hit enter on "goo." Instead of sending me automatically to Google or to some page trying to sell me Goo.com, I wound up on the Wikipedia page for "grey goo." Naturally, I took this to be a sign and was intrigued.

What is grey goo? Why it's "a hypothetical end-of-the-world scenario involving molecular nanotechnology in which out-of-control self-replicating robots consume all living matter on Earth while building more of themselves (a scenario known as ecophagy; eating the environment)." Of course. So apparently, nanotechnology will just turn us all to a grey goo byproduct in it's heedless lust to reproduce. One more thing for me to be worried about. What is wrong with machines and their carnal programming?

The only answer: we must teach nanobots abstinence.