Bram Stoker Had Grey Eyes

Grey, gray, grey, grey, definitely. Reading a Stoker biography and turns out he had grey eyes and loved it! So does one of my brothers, though I'm not sure about his feelings on having said grey eyes. Why do I bring it up? No reason.

New from Science: Black Hole Death

I'm minding my own business when suddenly I hear that some jack-off scientists are going to crank up this atom-smasher and destroy the world. How might they do that, I stopped to ask. Apparently, there are fears that the Large Hadron Collider will produce black holes that will swallow the world.

Now at first, this news scared me so bad I wanted to hide under the bed--but then I thought the black hole would be sure to look there.

Then, I took some deep breathes. In the past, I have been entrusted to teach Darwin and Galileo (hahahhahahahhaha). And sure enough after my initial horror, I read the articles and found that the people complaining are led by a safety inspector with a law degree. A law degree! Phew!

Most importantly let's not let this LHC distract from the real threat: grey goo!

Going Green

Not environmental (why bother when we all know the environment is going to be destroyed by grey goo...or zombies), but Irish. That's right, I'm in Ireland. Possible home of some of my corrupt genetic material.

And here's a picture of The Hairy Lemon to prove it. Probably you can't read it, but that sign...the small and blurry one...that says, "The Hairy Lemon." Trust me, it does.

WARNING: Grey Goo

Have you ever wondered will the world end in fire or ice? Had you wondered this you wasted your time because the world will, in fact, be ending in grey goo. How do I know? Because of the wonders of the Internet (A quick aside: I used to get worked up over having to capitalize the Internet, but now I realize it is a proper name for that space where all the weird, terrible, wonderful urges of the world get refined into points of light, and so just as you capitalize Kalamazoo so should you capitalize the Internet). Anyway, so I was going to my goto site Google, though I have documented our rocky relationship, and though I have a Google bar right there in the top right hand corner of my browser, I still type in the site, but this time, instead of clicking down to the auto-fill Google, I hit enter on "goo." Instead of sending me automatically to Google or to some page trying to sell me Goo.com, I wound up on the Wikipedia page for "grey goo." Naturally, I took this to be a sign and was intrigued.

What is grey goo? Why it's "a hypothetical end-of-the-world scenario involving molecular nanotechnology in which out-of-control self-replicating robots consume all living matter on Earth while building more of themselves (a scenario known as ecophagy; eating the environment)." Of course. So apparently, nanotechnology will just turn us all to a grey goo byproduct in it's heedless lust to reproduce. One more thing for me to be worried about. What is wrong with machines and their carnal programming?

The only answer: we must teach nanobots abstinence.