Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Apocalyptic Banana Cannibalism
If you've read these ramblings, then you know the obsessive eye I cast over bananas. For example, you learned that most of the bananas we eat are clones of one single banana. Or something like that.
Well, now my friend Karen has revealed the unsubstantiated truth that human DNA is 40% similar to a banana. Now, also being a paranoid. I can only take this information and assume that something terrible is going on here. To begin with, if we are this similar to bananas and we are eating bananas, then aren't we essentially committing cannibalism? If we're eating clones of one banana and we are 40% of that banana, then aren't we all 40% of one another? If so aren't, we eating ourselves?
I needed help, so I Googled this, and the top 4 or 5 results varied the percentage from 40 to 90% shared DNA. But one site cleared it, saying it's sequencing, not composition that matters because since we're all made of the same stuff, we would be 100% similar to a banana, looking at it that way. So we are all bananas.
But then I remembered the BBC report that said that Googling something twice creates the same carbon impact as an electric tea pot (it is BBC, afterall). Google has let me down again! You can Google it. Wait, don't. Because of the global warming it will create. Killing all the bananas--most importantly the bananas that are us.
I need a paper bag....